eirana_regan: (kradommy)
[personal profile] eirana_regan
Title: Girls Just Want to Have Fun
Summary: Adam looks at his reflection for the first time and holy fucking shit he’s a goddamn girl.
Pairings: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen/Tommy Ratliff. Oh, yeah; I went there.
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~4,200
Disclaimer: Pretty sure this didn’t happen. But if it somehow does, someone try and get it on tape. Please.
Notes:[personal profile] ladymichaelis is an enabler. I was like “oh, no one will want to read genderbent!kradommy lesbian porn” and she was like, “OMGDOIT”. So. I did it because I couldn’t resist and here we are. (Lame title because I wrote this within a few hours and saved it under “girl!kradommy”.)
Warnings: Over 4,000 words of cracky, genderbending porn. If this isn’t your cup of tea, well. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Originally posted 9/18/10


Adam finds out first. He doesn’t know anything’s wrong until he pads into the bathroom, half-awake, and brushes his teeth, reaching down to scratch his balls and finding…nothing.

The toothbrush falls into the sink with a clatter. Adam looks at his reflection for the first time and holy fucking shit he’s a goddamn girl.

This is all Brad’s fault.

Adam is starting to reconsider his decision to stay friends with the bastard. This is all that asshole’s fault, him and his stupid magical elixir, or whatever the fuck he’d called it. He never should’ve taken the damn thing. It’d been bright pink and glowing, too, so that really should have told Adam to run the other way.

But, noooo, he could trust Brad, Brad wouldn’t give him something that he didn’t think was safe.

Obviously, Adam’s definition of safe is different from Brad’s, because he doesn’t think switching motherfucking genders counts as safe.

He’s a girl. He’s a fucking girl with fucking tits and a vagina. He tries not to whimper at the loss of his dick.

Why did he drink that shit? Why?

Fuck. He isn’t the only one who had that stuff. And if Adam is now…Adamina, then that means that… Shit.

He runs back out to the bedroom, hands gripping the doorway tightly to support himself when he sees the two distinctly female bodies on his bed.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

He’d invited Kris over last night to help him with the bottle. It’s been a while since he and Kris have had the chance to really talk, so he’d figured that last night had been a good a time as any to hang out. They’d both started on the bottle, sharing it between them. And then Tommy had dropped by, grumbling about how it was all Adam’s fault that all the girls he went out with really just wanted him so that they could watch him make out with their boyfriend or some shit like that. He’d stomped his way into the house and plopped onto the couch next to Kris, stealing the bottle from him and taking a large gulp, looking almost blissful afterwards.

What happened next is all a bit of a blur. They’d finished the bottle, he knows that, and at some point, they’d moved upstairs to his bedroom. But after that, his memory’s a complete blank. Damn it. If he blacked out on sex with those two, he will commit seppuku - after he kills Brad.

Tommy appears to be wearing a very familiar-looking pink wig and a corset, so it looks like dress-up had been part of the agenda. Tommy always ends up in the best outfits when Adam’s around. Kris is curled up against him, naturally; he’s a cuddly little fucker. His hair’s a lot longer now, reaching just below his shoulders. This is weird.

What the hell was in that bottle?

He walks over to them, sitting on the bed cross-legged and trying to figure out which one to wake up first when Kris shifts in his sleep, rolling over to face Adam, sleepy brown eyes looking at him.

“Hey,” he whispers, voice rough with sleep and higher-pitched, but still honey-warm and swoon worthy.

“Hi, baby. Sleep well?”

Kris nuzzles into his leg, content. “Mmhmm. I love your bed. Can I steal it?”

He laughs, feeling a little less freaked. “Sorry, it’s mine. But if you want to sleep over every now and then, I’m perfectly okay with that.” Adam starts combing his fingers through Kris’ long hair, unknotting the tangled strands. He wishes he had a brush nearby; Girl!Kris’ hair is just as soft as Boy!Kris’ but there’s more of it. Adam thinks he could spend hours touching it.

Kris makes what sounds like a purring noise before stiffening suddenly, shooting up from his position to sit up and really look at Adam. “Adam. You have boobs,” he says, wide-eyed.

He rolls his eyes. “So do you,” he retorts without thinking, regretting the words when it makes Kris squeak and start groping himself. As in, taking his hands and touching his newly-grown-overnight boobs - which look pretty big for someone as tiny as Kris - squeezing them firmly.

“That wasn’t a cue for you to touch them!” Adam says frantically, covering his eyes with his hands. He cannot deal with this right now.

“You can’t tell me I have boobs and expect me not to do anything about it,” he says absently, seemingly fascinated with his breasts.

Oh god. What the fuck did he wake up to this morning?

When Kris starts reaching for the buttons on his plaid shirt - the material now stretched taut over his chest area - Adam leaps over to Tommy’s side and starts shaking him.

“Tommy, get the fuck up right now!”

He grumbles and tries to turn away, but Adam yanks at the pink wig, well-aware that there’s an army of bobby pins anchoring it to Tommy’s head. He grins smugly when Tommy wakes up, glaring his usual death glare at Adam.

“What the hell was that for, Lambert?”

“You may want to head over to the bathroom and check out the mirror, Tammy,” he says with a smirk. Tommy is not going to be pleased, but at least Adam won’t be the one freaking out this time. He will take whatever joy he can find in this situation.

Tommy raises a skeptical eyebrow at him and is about to reply when he catches sight of Kris - who is still groping himself, and now has his shirt unbuttoned to his waist. Normally, Adam would find the slack-jawed expression on Tommy’s face amusing, but this is not the time to ogle Kris’ rack.

“Tommy! Focus!” he snaps. Stupid straight boys and their one-track minds. “In case you haven’t noticed, there is something very different about us this morning.”


Motherfucking motherfucker. Is he the only sane one left? “Kris, can you stop playing with yourself for like five seconds so Tommy can pay attention to the very important speech I’m about to give him?”

Kris pouts at him but complies, putting his hands at his sides, shirt front gaping open. He shuffles back to rest against the headboard, offering a few brief, tantalizing glimpses of his nipples; Tommy looks spellbound.

“And button it back up, please?” Adam grits out. He waits as Kris slowly - agonizingly slowly - buttons the shirt back up, the top three still undone and revealing an alarming amount of cleavage. He sighs; he should’ve known better than to expect Kris to be any less of a tease.

With Kris’ girls put away, Tommy seems more coherent. “Wait, that’s Kris?” Or not.

He facepalms. “Yes, Tommy. That’s Kris’ rack you’ve been ogling for the past five minutes. Do you know why that’s bad?” he says faux-patiently.

“But, we’re guys. We have dicks…” Tommy’s hand dives into his pants, groping around for an appendage that isn’t there. “What the fuck? Where the hell is my dick? What the fuck was in that bottle, Lambert?”

Adam shrugs. “Brad gave it to me. You want to complain, complain to him.”

“No fucking way! It’s your fault I’m dickless, so you’re going to be the one to call your crazy bitch of an ex and ask him what that shit was,” he says, scowling.

Adam gets off the bed to go hunt for his phone to call Brad. The bastard better be helpful. He finds his phone under a plaid skirt that looks like it was thrown haphazardly onto the floor - he hates Brad for giving him something that made him forget why it’s on the floor and/or who wore it - and dials the familiar number, foot tapping impatiently.

Unsurprisingly, it goes straight to voicemail. Surprisingly, Brad has changed his message.

Hey, you’ve reached Cheeks! I’m not here right now, but leave me a message, and I’ll get back to you if I think you’re worthy. Oh, and if this is Adam, don’t worry; it’ll wear off in about 24 hours. Have fun, princess!

Well. At least they know when this shit’s going to be over.

He turns back to the bed to tell Kris and Tommy the semi-good news, but stops at the sight that meets his eyes.

In the few minutes it’d taken for him to locate his phone and call Brad, Kris has lost his shirt completely and Tommy’s ditched the pink wig. For some reason though, he still has the corset on. He’s running his hands all over Kris’ breasts, watching them with rapt eyes. Jesus fucking Christ; he can’t turn his back on them for even a moment.

“I hate to break up the lesbian sex in progress, but I have information you two might find useful.”

Kris looks up at him, lips bitten red and face flushed with arousal. Okay, it’s unfair that he looks so damn pretty no matter what sex he is. Tommy - shockingly - is scowling at the interruption.

“Can you make it quick?”

“Brad didn’t answer me, obviously, but this stuff only lasts for about 24 hours, so. Kris, you didn’t have anything scheduled today, did you?”

He shakes his head. “I’m free for the next few days, actually. So he said that it’s safe and temporary?” Adam nods, watching as Kris’ eyes light up. “Okay, cool. So can Tommy and I go back to what we were doing?”

How are they even real?

“Seriously, Kris? What happened to you? You’re supposed to be sensible; grounded; rational. Your first thought when you wake up a girl shouldn’t be to have lesbian sex.”

“Why not?” Kris asks, lips forming into a pout. Is it just Adam or are his lips even fuller now?

“Adam, if you want to have a panic attack about the loss of the Glambulge, you’re free to. As for me, I’m going to do dirty things to Kris’ fucking amazing tits and ignore you.” True to his word, Tommy goes back to lavishing attention onto Kris’ breasts, a hand reaching down to undo the buttons on his jeans.

Is he in the Twilight Zone or something?

“Why are you so obsessed with his boobs anyway? You have your own.”

Tommy buries his face in Kris’ cleavage and groans, frustrated. “Kris, make him stop talking. He’s ruining our fun.”

Kris starts petting Tommy’s head. Adam knows that they’re friends now - although how or when that happened, they’re both notoriously close-mouthed about - but it’s still really weird to see. “Adam, come here,” Kris says, beckoning him with a crook of his fingers.

He is definitely in the fucking Twilight Zone.

He goes to Kris anyway, settling onto the bed next to him, jumping when he takes one of Adam’s hands and puts it smack-dab on top of his left breast. He squeezes it on instinct, pleased when it makes Kris sigh happily, arching into his touch.

“Aren’t they fantastic?” Tommy says dreamily, tongue darting out to lick at a nipple, making Kris shiver between them.

Not really, in Adam’s opinion, but they are nice, in their own way.

“I don’t see you going nuts over my boobs, or yours,” he mutters, just to be contrary, absent-mindedly kneading the soft flesh still under his palm.

Tommy scoffs. “I barely have any boobs, which is fine with me. Tommy Joe Ratliff is not meant to have boobs. And I probably still don’t have an ass. What the hell do I have going for me in this body?”

“Your winning personality,” Adam says wryly.

Kris seems to have checked out of the conversation, eyes dreamy and hazy as they play with him. He leans down to kiss him, just a soft peck, but Kris’ arm comes up to hold him there, deepening the kiss.

Oh god. He loves Kris’ mouth. Why doesn’t he have a dick? That mouth would feel so fucking good around him.

An arm knocks into his side and he breaks the kiss to watch as Tommy struggles to pull Kris’ skintight jeans off. He has some trouble getting them down around his hips so Adam wriggles down to help him out. And then the only thing left on Kris are his white boxer-briefs.

Adam kind of wants to eat him up. Boy or girl, Kris still makes a pretty picture.

Tommy keeps fidgeting next to him. Adam isn’t sure if it’s because he wants to pounce on Kris or because the corset is a little too tight; probably both. He leans over and starts undoing the laces, Tommy sagging back against him in relief when he’s free of the restrictive garment.

“Thanks,” he says softly, planting a small kiss on Adam’s jaw. He lets his hands wander over Tommy’s frame. He’s slender and slim where Kris has curves, breasts much smaller than Kris’ - and Adam’s, from what he can tell - but they fill his hands nicely.

“No problem, glitterbaby. You can go back to mauling Kris now,” he says teasingly.

“Don’t mind if I do.”

With that, he practically launches himself at Kris, settling on top of him and taking his mouth in a voracious kiss that makes Adam feel flushed and heated, a throbbing ache between his thighs.

He reaches down to touch himself, fingers pausing on his zipper. Does he really want to open this can of worms? Well, considering where this will end up going, Adam’s going to have to man up - so to speak - and just try it.

The two of them seem to be enjoying their girl parts immensely. Tommy has a hand between Kris’ legs - his briefs seem to have disappeared - fingers moving rhythmically, little gasps escaping Kris’ mouth with each movement.

Okay. Adam can do this. He’s made out with girls before. He went down on one years and years ago. He can do this. He takes a deep breath and undoes his jeans, sticking a hand in quick, eyes squeezing shut. His fingers travel down towards the slick warmth he can feel inside him, making him ache.

Wow. He’s really fucking wet. Just from watching them. They are very pretty though. No one can blame him for getting this turned on from the private show he’s watching.

Kris is absolutely shameless, writhing underneath Tommy, incoherent noises leaving his lips in a steady stream. Tommy seems content to touch and lick Kris all over, pausing occasionally to suck a mark into his skin. They look beautiful together.

Adam’s fingers are moving faster, going deeper, making him shiver. It feels good, different from jerking himself off, but still good. He feels so sensitive, every brush against his clit making him shudder uncontrollably.


He opens his eyes - when did he close them? - to see Tommy and Kris looking at him expectantly.

“Hngh?” He can’t seem to remember how to talk. He feels overheated, like he’s going to fall apart at any moment.

Tommy tugs him over, shoving him next to Kris. “As hot as it is to see you playing with yourself, your clothes are blocking the view. Kris and I disapprove.”

And then Adam’s getting undressed by the two of them, shirt getting pulled over his head and tossed aside, jeans and boxers tugged down and thrown onto the floor. Tommy looks fascinated. What is it with him and boobs?

“Oh my god. I hit the fucking jackpot,” he says before leaning down to take a nipple into his mouth, teeth scraping the nub gently and sending shivers down Adam’s spine.

He understands the boob obsession a little better now.

Kris giggles next to them, putting his head on Adam’s shoulder, watching Tommy’s mouth work. “He’s really good at that, isn’t he, Adam?”

He nods weakly, head turning to capture Kris’ lips in a heated kiss. He can see Kris’ hand working between his own legs, can see how desperate he is. Adam hums in sympathy, nipping at his lower lip before leaning closer to whisper into his ear.

“I have a few things you may want, baby. Bottom drawer, blue box.” Kris stares blankly at him. “Dildos, Kris. There are sex toys in that box. You look like you need something more than your fingers.”

He flushes prettily at the blunt statement, but obeys anyway. Adam can hear him rummaging through the drawer and he cranes his head to look, but Tommy’s mouth has made its way down to his cunt, and his tongue is even better at that.

“Oh god, Tommy, fuck, yes.” He’s dripping with sweat, head thrashing with each lash of his tongue. Tommy’s screwing a couple of fingers into him at the same time, Adam clenching around them and moaning at the stretch. This is really, really good. Why did he have a problem with this before?

Kris bounces back onto the bed, a vibrator in hand. It’s a blue silicone one, almost as big as Adam - well, when he has a dick, that is - but not quite, and really wide. Wow. Kris is certainly being adventurous. That particular toy isn’t what he would’ve picked for someone who’s never taken one before. Unless…

Before he can ask, Kris is sprawling out next to him, legs splayed apart. He’s reaching for the vibrator, looking like he’s going straight for the prize, and Adam’s hand reaches out to grab his wrist. “You sure about that, baby? Don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

Tommy’s come up for air, laying his head on Adam’s thigh, complete with a perfect view of Kris. He nods in reply, smiling brightly at them both.

“It’s okay, Adam. I know what I’m doing.” He starts to push in, the toy slowly entering him. Kris’ eyes are shut tight, mouth open on a quiet moan. Adam’s eyes widen at how easily he takes it all in.

Kris lays there for a while just breathing in and out, getting used to the feel of it inside him. Then he reaches for the base and turns it on, starting to move it in and out of him with slow thrusts. From there on out, Adam pretty much forgets how to think.

Why the fuck doesn’t he own a strap-on? Not that he’s ever needed one, but it never hurts to be prepared. Because, fuck, if he had one, he’d be the one making Kris look like that.

He looks like he’s forgotten there are even other people there, so caught up in finding his own pleasure. Tommy leaves his place from between Adam’s legs and goes back to obsessing over Kris’ tits, nipping and biting at them as Kris’ hand moves faster and faster.

Adam watches them for a while, absently touching himself. He’s alright with being a voyeur for now. But then Kris’ rhythm falters as Tommy starts making out with him, the toy forgotten completely even as it vibrates inside him. Well. He’d hate for it to go to waste.

He crawls over, gripping the base and turning up the vibration a few notches. It makes Kris jerk and cry out, panting against Tommy’s mouth.

“Adam, what-”

“Shh. Just relax. I’ll take care of this,” he says, thrusting deep and keeping it pressed there, watching as tremors rock Kris’ frame, “and Tommy and his boob obsession will take care of the rest. You just lie there and take it, baby. Okay?”

Kris nods frantically, pushing back against Adam’s firm thrusts as he arches into Tommy’s touch. It doesn’t take long for Kris to come, shuddering and shivering between them, babbling praises and endearments.

Adam slowly pulls the vibrator out, watching Kris’ thigh muscles spasm, oversensitive from his climax. He’s tempted to go for multiple orgasms, just to see how far he and Tommy can take Kris, but he looks dazed as is. Maybe some other time.

Tommy collapses onto the bed to Kris’ right, sharing slow, lazy kisses with him as Adam settles on Kris’ other side. He watches them make out, Kris still trying to catch his breath, panting audibly. Tommy moves to straddle Kris’ thigh, hips rocking back and forth, the friction making him moan. Kris’ hands roam over his pale skin, lingering at the dip of Tommy’s waist and the swell of his hips, reaching up to cup his breasts.

“I don’t know why you don’t like them, Tommy. I think they’re perfect,” Kris says, voice husky and low, so damn sexy without even trying.

The pace of Tommy’s hips speeds up, little breathy moans escaping him. Adam can’t believe how pretty they are like this. His hand slips down, into slick warmth, hips bucking up. He gets off like that, watching Tommy rub against Kris’ thigh, desperate and falling apart, the least composed Adam’s ever seen him, Kris urging him on with ardent kisses. He comes with a low groan, pressing the heel of his hand into his clit, riding out the aftershocks with half-lidded eyes, watching as Tommy loses his balance and collapses onto Kris, sated.

He scoots closer to them, snuggling into Kris’ neck, too blissed out to care about the state of his sheets - which are probably ruined - or that they all should get up and shower. He throws an arm over them both and closes his eyes, content.

This whole girl thing isn’t so bad after all.


They wake up a few hours later, and this time, Adam can’t ignore how gross he feels now that the afterglow has worn off. He hauls the other two girls - because they’re definitely still female if Kris’ gigantic rack is anything to go by - into the shower with him, taking his time soaping them up and rinsing them clean. They don’t get very clean and they run out of hot water about halfway through.

They spend of the rest of the day naked because the clothes come off about an hour in. It’s just, well, the clothes they came in were all in the wash, and Adam had decided to be generous and loan them an oversized t-shirt while they waited.

Adam forgot he has a thing for seeing pretty twinks in his clothes. So, naked. And, well, naked eventually leads to more sex, so it’s really a win-win for all involved.

Then it’s nighttime again, and Adam’s almost bouncing with excitement because, yay, he gets his dick back soon! Tommy gets morose after a while. He’s pretty sure it’s because his and Kris’ boobs are going to disappear soon. The boy is way too attached to their chests.

Because seeing Tommy look forlorn confuses - and maybe upsets - him, he lets him grope Adam all he wants, ending with him falling asleep with his head resting on Adam’s chest and both hands on Kris’, a peaceful smile on his face.

When he wakes up, he immediately reaches down to check that everything that’s there is where it’s supposed to be. His hand wraps around his morning wood, and, oh yeah, he’s back.

He opens his eyes and sees Kris and Tommy snuggled together, of course. Kris’ hair has gone back to its normal length, and the giant tits have disappeared, which he’s sure Tommy will pout about when he wakes up.

Adam moves closer to where they are and shakes them awake, waiting out the muttered curses that Tommy spouts at him. Kris just opens his eyes, giving him a sleepy smile, reaching for him.

He pulls Kris into his arms, kissing him good morning. So pretty.

Adam startles when he feels a hand wrap around his cock, giving it a few good, tight strokes.

“Good to have you back,” Kris says, crooked smile on his lips.

“You talking to me or my dick?”

“Well, since you were here yesterday but your dick wasn’t-”

He cuts off the remark with a deeper kiss, rolling on top of Kris and rubbing his erection against his thigh. It makes him moan into the kiss, a leg coming up to wrap around Adam’s waist. Now this is more like it.

“Oh my fucking god, really? I had to wake up to this?”

He breaks the kiss, rolling off of Kris and landing on his back with a groan. He really wants to kill Tommy. Kris, on the other hand, looks delighted.

“Tommy, we’re back to normal!”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbles, scowling.

Kris smiles at him and leans over to peck his cheek. “Don’t be like that. It’s not like that was the only bottle of that stuff that existed.”

“How do you know?”

He shrugs, grinning devilishly. “I’ve had it before.”

Adam’s eyes widen. “Wait, you knew what that shit was? Why didn’t you say anything?!”

Kris rolls his eyes. “Because I thought you already knew. If I’d known you didn’t, I would’ve told you and saved us your freak out the morning after.”

“You-” Adam sputters, lost for words. That little sneak! He’s going to kill him for… Hmm. Actually, it was a pretty nice day. They’d had fun. And he has his dick back now, so no harm done. “You’re going to get punished for that,” he growls.

Kris shivers. “Punished?”

“That’s right. For not telling me the truth. Tommy and I are going to fuck you until you can’t even walk, Kris.”

Tommy’s still scowling, but he looks intrigued now. Kris looks like Christmas came early.

“Okay!” he says happily, yanking Tommy down for a kiss. They both look far too happy.

So it’s not the best punishment. Who cares? He has two pretty twinks in his bed.

About god knows how many hours, positions, and showers later, Adam contemplates sending Brad a fruit basket - and asking if he could tell him where to get more of that stuff.



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October 2011

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