krommy-sushi (because Marien's demanding and I'm a pushover)

[eirana_regan]

Originally posted 4/20/11.

~*~

“Adam, I refuse to go anywhere near you until that thing is off of your face. I know it’s your face, but I have to look at it, and if, god forbid, you keep it until your next show, I’m going to have to kiss it, and there is no fucking way that’s happening.” Tommy rolls his eyes, waits out the indignant exclamations on the other end of the line. “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, rockstar. I’m not the only one who wants that abomination banished to a different dimension. You’re the one sending me on a wild goose chase for your missing boyfriend.”

There’s some more yelling and cursing; Tommy hangs up.

He loves Adam, but his love is not strong enough to withstand the reappearance of the pornstache from Hell. Apparently, Kris’ love isn’t that strong either, because Adam hasn’t seen him since yesterday, which is why all his friends have been press-ganged into searching for him.

Supposedly, Kris’ friends, band, and management know exactly where he is - but refuse to tell anyone connected to Adam. Cale had just laughed when Tommy showed up at his door and asked if the plaid-loving midget was around.

He should probably be righteously angry on Adam’s behalf, but Tommy sympathizes; that thing is hideous. If Kris wants to run away and hide until Adam regains his senses or gets over whatever brought it out this time, then Tommy’s fully supportive of the move.

That still doesn’t mean he expects to see Kris-Sushi on his couch.

The infamous Kris-Sushi only shows up when Kris is really upset about something. It’d come out immediately post-divorce, turned up during Adam’s “you’re not really in love with me, I’m just safe” phase, made another appearance during that whole Adam Levine fiasco during that one benefit concert; Kris-Sushi is never a good sign.

Kris-Sushi is a harbinger of doom and destruction.

When Kris Allen gets upset, he doesn’t do what other people normally do. Well, he does, but he does it while wrapped up in a blanket. Like, completely. He cries pathetically, and whines, and pouts, and throws little hissy fits, but all while rolled up in a ridiculously comfortable quilt.

No one really knows why he does it, but they all know what it means: leave Kris alone or else.

Adam’s stubborn, though, so of course when Kris tries to sushify himself, he unwraps him - with extreme difficulty because Kris is like a master in the art of blanket origami or something - and makes them have a long, exhausting talk that includes but is not always limited to: screaming; cursing; throwing of objects; destruction of valuables; insults to the other’s parentage and legitimacy; insults to their wardrobe; some more screaming; and, eventually, it all ends with several rounds of make-up sex.

This time, Kris got the leg up on Adam and went somewhere else to morph into a sushi roll. But did he have to decide that that somewhere else was Tommy’s apartment?

The bundle on his couch wriggles. “Tommy?” The muffled voice is definitely Kris’.

Tommy sighs and walks over, standing in front of the Kris-Sushi and scrutinizing it. He’ll never understand how exactly Kris gets himself in and out of there so easily. “If I’d known that you were going to break into my apartment to do this, I would’ve come home earlier.”

“I figured that I was safe here. Adam would never think to look for me here.” The bastard sounds smug. If Tommy were to uncover his face, he’d probably see a satisfied little smirk.

“You’re right about that. The bastard has us checking out everyone you’ve ever talked to. I think he’s calling your mom if no one reports a Kris sighting in the next twenty-four hours.”

Tommy didn’t know a blanket could look sad, but something in the slump of Kris’ shoulders - at least, what he thinks are Kris’ shoulders - does. “Oh. I didn’t want to worry him. I told him I’d be fine. I was just staying away until he and his razor got reacquainted.”

He rolls his eyes. “Stop sounding so damn sad; it makes me feel like I just kicked a puppy into oncoming traffic.” The Kris-Sushi wriggles some more, closer to the back of the couch. Tommy sits down on the arm by what he thinks is Kris’ head and leans down to pat his shoulder. “Don’t stress, Kris. Adam’s just being overdramatic.”

There’s some more wiggling and squirming, and then the blanket comes undone a little, revealing Kris’ head. His eyes are big and bright and sad, and Tommy is seriously the worst person ever. How does Adam yell at him and not feel like shit?

“Still. I don’t like worrying him.” Kris wrinkles his nose. “But the damn facial hair. I know I’m supposed to love him unconditionally, but it makes him look like a sleazy car salesman from Jersey.”

Tommy laughs. “Yeah, it does. I understand your pain. Honest.”

Kris grins at him. “I can’t help laughing when he kisses me, now. It’s mostly just because it tickles, but then I look at him, and I-” He breaks off into giggles.

“Stop. Now I’m going to be thinking about having to kiss him with that thing on his face.”

Kris laughs harder, blanket-wrapped body rolling perilously close to the edge. Tommy stands up, contemplating the Kris-Sushi about to laugh its way off his couch. He pokes at his side, Kris’ face scrunching up in laughter.

“Don’t! I’m ticklish.”

Tommy grins evilly; Kris’ eyes widen. When Tommy takes a step towards him, Kris rolls onto the floor and starts inching his way to…Tommy isn’t really sure where, but he’s wriggling very determinedly. Kris is lucky he doesn’t have a coffee table in here, or that fall would’ve been disastrous.

He lets Kris wriggle his way across the carpet for a few minutes - because Kris Allen wrapped up in blankets and wiggling is criminally adorable - before putting a stop to it by way of throwing himself on top of him. Kris grunts in surprise and flails a little, caught in his blanket, and rolls them over.

After a few minutes with the Kris-Sushi sprawled on top of him, Tommy’s starting to have trouble breathing. He really didn’t think someone as small as Kris would be this heavy.

“Hey,” he says, tapping Kris’ shoulder, “do you think you could get off of me? I don’t mind cuddling with you, but this isn’t the best position to do it in.”

Kris beams at him. “I like cuddling!”

Tommy rolls his eyes. “Everyone knows you like cuddling. Unwrap yourself and we can move to my bed, which is bigger and more comfortable than this carpet.”

Kris does some more wriggling around, and through some sort of magic, he unrolls the blanket, freeing himself in a matter of seconds.

Tommy stares. “How did you…”

Kris shrugs. “Lots of practice.” He gets up on his feet, quilt in his arms. “Now, about cuddling.”

“Right.” He’d mostly been kidding about that, but Kris looks so damn eager at the prospect of cuddling; Tommy doesn’t have the heart to tell him ‘no.’

His bed is queen-sized - his first real splurge - and kind of ridiculously huge for someone who lives on his own, but Tommy fell in love with it; the mattress is fucking amazing. Kris jumps onto it without a second thought. He sprawls on top of it, grinning like a little kid. He’s wearing jeans and a frayed, slightly oversized shirt that Tommy recognizes as Adam’s.

As soon as he gets within reaching distance, Kris grabs his hand and tugs him onto the bed. Kris is like a fucking octopus, arms and legs wrapping around Tommy and pulling him close without regard for things like personal space. Tommy’s not as handsy as Kris is, but he appreciates a good snuggle.

The quilt lies abandoned at the foot of the bed, and now that it’s not wrapped around Kris, it looks small, and not all that comfortable.

“Why do you roll yourself up in that thing, anyway?”

Kris tucks his face into the crook between Tommy’s neck and shoulder. “It’s comfy,” he mutters, breath ghosting over Tommy’s ear and neck. “It makes me feel safe.” He suddenly moves away, sitting up into a kneeling position, and reaches for the blanket. “Let me show you,” he says, grinning and waving it in the air.

Tommy raises an eyebrow, skeptical. “I don’t know if I trust you. The Kris-Sushi thing you had going on looks claustrophobic.”

“Kris-Sushi,” Kris says, a thoughtful look on his face. “Never heard that before.”

“Are you kidding? Adam always looks apoplectic when talking about it. I hear the term ‘Kris-Sushi’ more than I should.”

At the mention of his boyfriend - which he is, pornstache currently residing on his face or not - Kris pouts. “He never said it bothered him.”

“It does and it doesn’t. He’s somewhere between cooing like an infant because he thinks it’s cuter than a newborn kitten, and wanting to burn that blanket because he thinks it’s the root of all evil.”

Kris clutches the blanket to his chest protectively. “My Nana made me this quilt. That man has another thing coming if he thinks he’s laying a finger on it with the intent to destroy.”

Tommy rolls his eyes. “Relax. I highly doubt Adam would actually do it. So, you were saying about why you do this at all?” he says, waving his hand impatiently.

Kris blinks. “Oh. Right. Well,” he starts, moving Tommy to the side and getting to work.

Tommy tries to follow what he’s doing, but he gets lost somewhere after the fifth fold. Kris Allen, master of blanket origami. Before he knows it, he and Kris are wrapped up snugly in the quilt, Kris’ head on his chest, arms wrapped comfortably around him.

He has to admit, this is definitely nice. Tommy feels all warm and cozy, and Kris is a nice comfortable weight on his chest. He’s great for snuggling. No wonder Adam always wants Kris wrapped around him.

Tommy belatedly remembers his mission. His phone is still in his pocket, though, so maybe if he… After a few aborted attempts at getting it out on his own, he nudges Kris, who sounds like he’s about to fall asleep.

“Hey. Can you grab my phone for me?”

With a sleepy nod, Kris’ hand dives into his pocket, pushing it into Tommy’s hand with some creative maneuvering. He types out a quick message to Adam, pressing “send” without reading it over, and sighs contently.

Tommy loves Kris-Sushi.

~*~

From: Tommy
To: Adam
Found your boy at my place. Was in sushi-form. Don’t get him yet, we’re snuggling.
Sent: Apr 19, 6:42 pm